July 13th, 2004
There's a franchise of bed stores in and around Vancouver--the same one around every major city in the known universe. Because of my squeamishness about naming names and subsequently seeing lawsuits march my way, I will just call them Slumber Land if you can dig it.
It seems to me as though their sole philosophy in life is to inundate the general public with advertising. Complete blanket washout. Total saturation of the market with their commercials. Well, there's nothing against that, I suppose, except that for a minority of us it is bloody irritating. But what can be done about it? Nothing at all.
(One particularly stupid example: A TV commercial shows an "Everyman" type talking about how his job as a "Sleep Specialist" enriches and fulfills his life because he is able to perform the hugely important job of helping people to find the right bed to sleep in. Give me a break! No matter how you slice it, the firmness and material composition of your bed does not rank in importance above food, shelter, sense of security, and sense of self-worth. At best, it contributes in a negligible way to one's quality of life. But Maslow's hierarchy of needs mentions "sleep", not "sleep on an expensive over-advertised bed." I've lived for months at a time sleeping on floors, balconies, a bathtub once, and years and years on a ratty old futon. I slept fine and my back is just peachy, thank you. A person physiologically adjusts to his sleeping environment. So let's not overblow the job of Bed Salesperson into Life-Enhancement Specialist, okay?)
These people have other forms of getting their name heard besides silly advertising, and this one bothers me a lot more than just crass in-your-face TV and radio commercials. They will start out their TV or radio spots as PSA (Public Service Announcement)-style information about a community service or charity. Then they go on to mention how this service or charity benefitted from free beds by Slumber Land. Then they end with some feel good back-patting. Here is a paraphrasal of one such:
TOM: My name is Tom. I am a recovering drug addict. [Cue evil overtones music--single piano notes over dark synthesizer, lots of reverb] Six months ago I was a murderous rapacious drooling monster ready to do anything to satisfy my addiction. I was a threat to myself, others, and the very fabric of time and space. [Music dramatically swells into pretty harmony] But then I was taken in by the Daisy Hill Home for Recovering Addicts. There, people like Father Fred showed me how to live my life free of drugs, alcohol, and foul language.
FATHER FRED: The Daisy Hill Home relies on donations by people like Slumber Land. Thanks to their donation of beds and linens, our recovering addicts can sleep well at night, helping to pave the road to recovery. [Music changes to the Slumber Land jingle] Together, the Daisy Hill Home and Slumber Land have made a difference!
And I think the way these things happen in the first place is that someone from Slumber Land approaches Daisy Hill and says, "If you let us use your name in our commercials, we'll give you 6 factory-second beds and bedding. You get free beds and we get to advertise using your name. Oh, and maybe the junkies'll be able to sleep better too."
Well, many people would say that this is okay. I can hear the cries: "It's a win-win-win situation! Everybody is happy, since everybody gains from such a situation!" But what I find most ugly about this is that Slumber Land is building their empire on the backs of charities and the recipients of those charities. They are taking advantage of them in order to further their public image. And, ultimately, it is a jerk on your and my soul--especially if we decide to go to their stores and buy their beds. It's as though they are sucking the meagre remaining lifeblood of the downtrodden and the folks who help them to bolster their own advertising constitution.
If Slumber Land were really so interested in helping out in the community, instead of trying hard to make it look as though they were helping out in the community, they would just donate the beds and be done with it. No fanfare, no exploitation of the charity or community service they are supposedly helping.
You see, the fact that they are blowing their own horn tips their hand as to what their ultimate goal is: More money from more customers due to a better public image.