September 28th, 2004
In high school I had a simple little text-based game for the Commodore PET computers. It was something like a series of decisions one made that determined whether or not one's boat made it around the Cape of Good Hope and reached India or not. At the end of the game, it asked you:
Do you want to play again? (Y/N)If you pressed "N" for No, it asked you:
Are you sure? (Y/N)Pressing "Y" for Yes repeatedly resulted in:
Are you really sure? (Y/N) Are you really really sure? (Y/N) Are you really really really sure? (Y/N) Are you really really really really sure? (Y/N)... etc. until you broke out of the program and typed, "NEW" and pressed [RETURN]. (Back in those days, programs ran much the same way that scripts run today. The interpreter read the uncompiled code the same way that scripting hosts parse scripts today. The only time one compiled programs was for speed enhancements or possibly for copy protection. Also, there was no [Enter] key, just the [RETURN] key.)
It was irritating to try and end the program that way, of course, and a quick look at the code revealed that the loop was endless. Now, I think that there are times in the software world or engineering world where it is necessary to ask for confirmation about some action that is unrecoverable from. It is too easy to Click File > Delete (or whatever) by mistake. But it points out something that irritates me to no end in the real world. ("What, something irritates you, Porter? Call the newspapers!")
I hate it when I ask for something, or ask not to have something, and be asked by someone, "Are you sure?" I mean, think about what the message is: "I don't believe that you were competent to make that decision, so I am going to confirm that you really meant it." Believe me, when I say, "I am finished with this plate" to a waitress, I am bloody-well goddamned finished with the plate. And if she hauls it off and I change my mind, then I have nobody but myself to blame, do I? This is not the software world where I can make such blunders as accidentally deleting a file before I know what I am doing.
It's crazy-making nonsense. I've seen it played with children, too: A child says something and the adult asks the child, "Are you sure?" Well, the more you do this, the more the child isn't sure. And, of course, if you are consistent in not asking this stupid question, and insead taking the child at his/her word, you will be teaching that child that decisions have consequences. If you are really concerned about whether the child knows the consequences of his/her actions, tell the child what they are and let them make their own decision.
For adults, aside from the mind-fuck of being asked "Are you sure?", it is just plain rude. The amateur humans among us think that they are being polite. But their attempts at politeness result in quite the opposite, don't they?
So, for the record: Yes. I am sure.