May 5th, 2005
But I really think he doesn't adore you.
-Me, but never mind ...So, a coworker told me today that she thought I must love my job. I actually had to stop and crank my jaw back in.
I asked her, "Heavens to Betsy! Do I look as though I love my job?"
Suddenly slightly defensive (though I honestly didn't mean anything by my question) she slowly said, "Well, you get pretty intense about it sometimes ... I -er- just thought you were so passionate because you loved it so much." Then she made an "ulp" sound as though I were about to become offended. (I wasn't at all offended, but I guess it's true: Sometimes I don't know my own strength.)
So I told her I hadn't noticed (though that is not really the case). I further told her that I don't hate my job either—that I do a good job no matter which hat I am wearing, and I like the pay—and I especially like the fact I am not melting tar roofing tiles together, or spending 8 hours a day in front of a hamburger grill, or walking around in a brown polyester uniform through a warehouse full of sacks of coffee beans (all things I've done in the past to pay my bills).
But computer software is not the vocational love of my life. I like my job right now, I like most of the people I work with, and can tolerate the rest. Coincidentally, the following conversation was already had between me and a friend last week:
FRIEND: I'm so bored with being a mindless work-a-slave I could crap. I will never be able to retire (obviously). I, frankly, see no way out.
BRIAN: I liked your term, "work-a-slave" very much. It reminds me of what most people end up doing. I guess the only thing I can say to that is, "If you are a work-a-slave, what job do you envision as not being work-a-slave? Writing? Drawing for a newspaper or comic? Musician with contract?" I'm not trying to draw a moral of the story, just curious what the alternative looks like. See, I sometimes feel like a work-a-slave too, I just don't know what isn't a work-a-slave.
I am always reminded of the joke:
MR. KLEENEX: "I hate my fucking job more than anything else ... collecting people's used snot ... ugh! So, anyhow, what's your job?"
MR. TOILET PAPER: "Well ..."FRIEND: You know, I've never wanted to be a professional musician. Tour across Canada on an endless, payless journey of dive hotel bars in a van full of skinny fast-food petulant, self-absorbed wannabee rock stars scamming welfare checks. Tell me that's not work-a-slave.
I would take a shot at touring the summer folk festival network in a Winnebago and with some friends though. That would be cool. It's all in the spin.BRIAN: If I had the right kind of abilities, I'd say, "Sign me up, man!" except that I don't think folk music is my thing. A shame, for sure ...
FRIEND: You obviously haven't been to a folk festival for a while. A lot of what passes for folk these days is, well, not very folky. But it all depends on what definition you're using.
And after that our emails moved on to other weighty topics, such as television and easy chairs ... but I revisited this point with my friend later on, to add this one thought (that happens to me sometimes: Some words are exchanged and I suddenly burst forth with a reply a week later):
BRIAN: You know, the "Do what you love" crowd always imagines women in flowing robes burning candles and drawing beautiful pictures of unicorns and rainbows and selling them as greeting cards and posters. They never think of people who want to make industrial grunge music with broken bottles and trash cans ... or cartoons that point out the absurdity of it all ... or even the pop songs of a guy who hasn't quite figured out if he's Lennon or McCartney yet.
The What Colour is your Parachute? folks seem to think that sheer wishful thinking will put turnips on the table and roofing tiles overhead (and enough money left over to buy the art supplies to "follow your dream" besides).
And, really, if everyone followed their dreams the human population would be broken down something like this:
Women Men SAHM for Prince Charming 29% Police Officer / FBI Agent 31% Veterinarian 21% Fire Fighter 30% Nurse 14% Astronaut 28% Famous Actress 11% Race Car Driver 3% Famous Musician 8% Professional Athlete 3% Teacher 7% Airline Pilot / Jet Fighter Pilot 2% Animal trainer (whale / horse) 5% Inventor 1% Superhero 4% Superhero 1% Other 1% Other 1% Please note that "Multi-Coloured Parachute Maker" isn't on the list.
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