May 25th, 2005
When I was in university and for a few years after, I was proud of my record of being the most kicked-off DJ in the history of CJIV, the SFU student radio station. I was kicked off for many reasons, such as
- Calling Shaw Cable "screwed up" on the air (an unfair charge at the time by me against the cable company that hosted us for free as a favour, but not so unfair in light of recent events).
- Not playing songs that were on the official playlist, and instead playing songs that were ... uh ... on my own personal favourites playlist (twice, and both times quite deservedly so). 1
- Just plain insubordination to Norm, the station manager, (I bloody well deserved that, too ... Norm, by the way, went on to become a host of quite well-known blues show ... though I haven't heard from him lately) and Corinna, some news director type (whom I met years later at a bus stop in Surrey and she still loathed the sight of me).
- When doing the news, sitting in the booth with my feet up on the control board, reading verbatim from the Weekly World News fake newspaper. They should have not just kicked me out of the station for that, they should have shot me! Apart from the stupidity, that was a great way to get a little station sued into oblivion and subsequently shut down. I only mention it now because there is a statute of limitations on such acts of copyright infringement.
Anyhow, it was through this last experience that I became acquainted with the Weekly World News (WWN) and vastly enjoyed it. In case you are wondering, this particular -er- newspaper is not meant to be taken seriously. It is all written tongue-in-cheek, and the fact it is sold next to The National Enquirer must highly amuse its editors. I mean, it shares more of a brotherhood with National Lampoon or Mad Magazine than it does those other "newspapers".
Anyhow, you will often find some effective parodies of those "bizarre medical conditions" articles in the WWN where you will hear such terms as:
Exploding Head Syndrome
Hmm ... except there really is such a medical condition as Exploding Head Syndrome and I used to suffer from it just a few scant years ago.
Right at the point where I would be going to sleep there would suddenly be this terrific RRRIIIPPP!! noise, as though my brain had just undergone the biggest goddamned aneurysm set off by a cherry bomb or two. I'd bolt awake and assess whether I had lost any movement or cognitive abilities. I never did, and once my heart had slowed down I would try again. Either I would sleep or it would happen a second time much quieter. Always, by the third attempt at sleep, the problem would have gone away for the night.
One thing that I was able to determine in my own life was that caffeine after about 9:00 PM seemed to bring it on, and avoidance of caffeine correlated with the problem ceasing ... and a bloody good thing, too, since the experience, though harmless, was not at all pleasant.
1. To get an idea of how desperate they were for DJs, and also as an example of how forgiving they were, they eventually gave me my own radio show on Sunday mornings and I called it (accurately) "My Favourite Music" where I featured Bach, Mahler, Supertramp, Beatles, my own songs sometimes, and African hand drumming, etc. A real mixed bag that show was. A special thanks to Norm for tolerating my tediousness and obnoxiousness.
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