September 21st, 2005
Right, so here's one thing that came to me last night: For whatever reason, I've spent the last month or two not noticing all the little pleasures in life. I've been goal-oriented in everything, including playing guitar or watching TV. It's too easy to just blame my workplace for all of that, so I cannot yet find a reason for it. But, as Eeyore would say: There it is.
So this realisation came to me last night at the coffee shop. My wife and I hopped on our bikes and rode up to Metrotown for coffee and a pastry. And I sat there outside at the table with her and realised (and even said to her), "You know, I don't think I am capable of being happier than I am right now."
And it was true. I like riding my bike (I sound like a child here!) and I like doing things with my wife, and I like sitting at the coffee shop people-watching and absorbing the atmosphere (enriched by the speeding busses and cars not 20 feet away). And as I sat there drinking my free market extra-pungent strong coffee, I realised that I could easily have missed the fact that I was having a great time.
It was a good evening, except that my wife had a small crash in the driveway to the underground. She scraped her elbow and I think she will have a bruise on her hip today. But she was laughing about it all night, so I guess she's okay. I tried to bandage her arm, but she wasn't interested in covering up such a small scrape.
Sometimes I forget that everything is contingent on one's perception of the world, and that perception is filtered by attitude.
[Sigh] I guess it's so easy to harden one's attitude because the difference between delight in the small things and an acceptance of being treated like a doormat is such a thin (and shifting) line ...
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