March 12th, 2006
Humans are omnivores. We are not straight carnivores and, contrary to what a lot of Wiccans named Cynthia think, we are not herbivores. Red meat, fruit, fish, vegetables, poultry, grains ... small furry animals and large slimy insectoids are all fair game for us hungry bipeds.
Think back to the bad old days of cave-dwelling: Do you think people had the luxury of picking their diets when their entire food intake for the day was a lucky find of some edible root, two grasshoppers, and a bit of marrow dug out from the center of bone detritus left behind by a sabre-toothed tiger? Hell, back then the precursors to humans were temporary herbivores when the animals out-ran them, piscivores when they came across a slow-moving fish, and limnivores most other times.
As a child I was a PBJ-Carrots-and-Chicken-vore. That is, I would only eat peanut butter sandwiches, carrots (raw), and chicken. Oh, and I might drink milk. But these days I am a true North American: I am a processed-food-vore. I will eat just about anything wrapped in paper or put into one of those little fast-food boxes, the "standard" fruits of oranges, apples, bananas ... but god forbid I should eat anything as exotic as a pummelo, a mango, or a papaya (except for, maybe, a papaya-flavoured Life Saver TM). And a nice juicy beef-steak is all very well and fine, but get that eel (deep-fried or otherwise), rabbit, and chicken tongue off my table, by god, or I'll be forced to order a pizza; I've got my phone and I'm not afraid to use it.
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