April 5th, 2006
You know, I had an epiphany when I realised that the one thing about corporate life that I liked the least (Beer Fridays, mass-participation barbeques where the inevitable beer—and beer jokes—surface, and ... well ... beer and work together at all) could now be part of the "not applicable" list to me as a contractor. People have (mostly) jokingly called me a variety of names in the past about not liking the get-together afternoons over beer, such as "stick-in-the-mud" or "tee-totaller", etc. but the truth is the only time I am ever likely to enjoy having a beer (and even then it would be a rarity) is sitting on my own couch watching a hockey game. I don't like drinking with my coworkers. Nothing personal, just the way I like it. As a contractor, I suddenly realised, I don't have to :)
And that phrase, "nothing personal", is not a bad way to think of life when you are renting your soul to the highest bidder, anyhow. I don't like being included in those social get-togethers. The artificial "team-builders" are usually anything but ("the beatings will stop when morale improves!" as a former friend once said). It is impossible to legislate team cohesion.
So part of the definition of my new career direction is: "This contractor, at least, does not attend parties and get-togethers. They're a waste of perfectly good billable hours, and one hour not drinking a can of beer translates to at least two cases of beer in my fridge, which I can drink at my leisure (the beer, that is, not the fridge)."
Right, and then there came a part two as well:
There is a lot of stress associated with the final deliverable—for me, at least. That is, when the product is shaped by the decisions of others, I agonize over the stress that other peoples' designs and devices have on me. If it were solely my own software product, I would make it look my way and behave my way. When I see others controlling that look and behaviour ... well, and when it is different from how I think it should be, there is a lot of stress.
But a shaft of light opened from the heavens, visited upon my head, so to speak, when I realised that, as a contractor, I would never get so close to a product that I really had to care that much about the larger trends. My concern will almost always be exclusively a matter of this single release getting done on time. Worrying about what people are going to do with the product in subsequent releases is not something I need to think about, or care about. My focus is on making the best quality working in my own corner (the only exception being, of course, when I am contracted to worry about such things; then I'll have to worry).
And there is an entire overhead of "future planning" email threads and meetings that are irrelevant to my job as well. Certainly I can audit it all if I like, but the motivation is speculation and interest, not a grim necessity to stay abreast of the future plans.
So another part of the definition my new career direction is: "I don't need to worry about the overall direction of the product; my concern is with the here and now issues of delivering on time for this one release." Or (because I can't resist saying it): "I'm here for a good time, not a long time."
I think that helps me a lot. I need to exorcise some of the excess grumpiness that I have been carrying for the last 6 months, and I am setting my mind free by not worrying about the longer-term issues ... especially since I am not billing for them!
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