April 24th, 2006
(I didn't want to publicly mention this until after it "happened". Mostly it was to "protect" me and my wife from being owned for the knowledge. What I mean is this: I have, for example, a friend whom I will just call Mr. X. 1 and though he always means well and has a heart of gold, he sometimes can't help himself and gets his sticky hands all over everything. It's awkward and painful to be around him as he mismanages conversations about certain subjects—he thinks they are "touchy" and this impairs his abilities—and sometimes it's intimidating; so it's often better to withhold things for a little while. He does the same to me; he understands.)
Right, and I didn't mention it in my rants for the same reason.
But, yesterday, my wife and I ran in the Vancouver Sun Run ... an event that, had I been asked about it a scant 12 or 18 months ago, I would have scoffed at such a suggestion. I would point to my waistline and ask, pityingly, "Do I look like a runner to you?"
But back in January we decided to start following the schedule for training that the Sun Run published in the newspaper. It started in such small steps that even I could follow them relatively easily. It started as a couple of minutes of running separated by a couple of minutes of walking repeatedly; then worked up to 30, 40, even 50 minutes of solid running at a time. I astonished myself that I could build up such skills in a mere 12 weeks.
And although I did not break any land speed records, I finished the run in the tall part of the bell-curve, pleasing me greatly. Actually, just finishing the run would have been acceptable, but posting a respectable time as well was gravy on the cake.
To the scoffers, skeptics, and serious athletes: 10km is not a full-blown marathon, I fully realise that. But I am a reformed couch-potato, former smoker who has lost ten pounds a month for the last three months to get to where I am today. I think I've earned at least a little bit of self-congratulation.
So, some of the experiences I was not expecting, or were new to me:
- Hurry up and wait - I should have been able to anticipate this, but we stood around for something like an hour waiting our turn to start the run. Apart from being a bit cold, it meant having to take a port-o-potty break in the middle of the run (adding to our total run time).
- Lollygaggers - There were numerous groups of friends who enjoyed walking—practically hand-in-hand—across the entire width of the street, impeding runners, and then getting irate when runners brushed past them. One teenaged kid walked right in front of me and I had to grab him and move him aside to prevent sending him flying (it was at the start; if it had happened at the end I wouldn't have had the energy and would have probably just bowled him over).
- Inane announcers - Why-o-why is it that whenever there is a group of people congregating somewhere, there has to be an asshole with a microphone? And, furthermore, why does he or she think that they can crack their own special brand of moronic humour? It is one of the mysteries of the human condition. Furthermore:
- The premier uttered a few words (and said nothing), using the amplification at his disposal to drown out the booing of a good portion of the crowd.
- The announcer continually—and I mean continually—repeated the name of the strange (and, to my ears, downright mediocre) rock band playing at the start line. I swear, I heard the name (which I will not repeat here) backsold at least 20 times in the time we stood waiting our turn.
- The announcer could be heard by all 50,000+ people, but was making private jokes to himself and a smattering of people at the start of the run.
- He said things like, "Let me see everyone wave!" and, of course, there are always people who will do it out of boredom, sheer idiocy, or because they are not paying attention; then tell us, "It looks so impressive from up here [overseeing the start line]. Um, gee, it is so gratifying that 50,000 people can entertain your every little whim. By the way, what makes you so fucking important that you can play Simon Says with a bunch of runners?
So, despite some complaints (as mentioned above), I really enjoyed the run. Not just the aftermath, either; I enjoyed the start (once it happened) the middle, and the ending. It was satisfying and uplifting and ... and, well, that over-used word: Empowering.
(1) Although his real name is James P. Smith, and his address is 4321 Main Street, Vancouver, BC, V1A2B3, TEL: 604-555-3434.
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