June 1st, 2006
I have this image in my mind of what it's like during every single Canadian Prime Minister's first visit to Washington DC:
The first meeting starts with the Prime Minister's "people" talking nice with the President's "people", while the Prime Minister and President silently watch from their respective sides of the meeting area. Then the two leaders slowly gravitate together, according to the choreography that was ironed out in previous hours and days. Then they "publicly" meet in the middle, shaking hands and grinning as the cameras flash.
Then, as the Prime Minister is escorted into the inner sanctum out of the eyes and ears of cameras, and as he sits down at some table or desk or other, a set of dusty plans is slapped down in front and everyone except a tiny entourage drains silently from the room.
Confused—but still smiling and feeling important and friendly—the Prime Minister asks about the plans, "What is this?"
Walking slowly to the other side of the table and sitting down slowly, the President finally responds, "What's what? Oh, that! It's nothing much, really. Just the invasion plans for Canada should you ever decide to stop supplying us with our oil."
Suddenly the plans are whisked away from under the Prime Minister's nose and the discussion agenda is placed down in its place.
"Anyhow," the President continues, inspecting a slight rough spot on a fingernail, "Let's get on with it, shall we?"
And from there the discussion moves on to such mundane topics as softwood lumber, cross-border visits, human rights, acid rain, and whatever else the general public and media are in a brouhaha about at that particular moment in time.
* * *
You know, I honestly believe that it is the way things are done—well, maybe not so obviously, but that is the essence of the precursor to any talks between Canada and the US. There is no other plausible, reasonable explanation for why our politicians are so happy to snuggle up to American interests. Even the few Prime Ministers who publicly show a personality and a willingness to be somewhat "enlightened" and "self-interested" (I use the ominous Quotation Marks of Erudite Self-Intrusion because these are media words and bear little or no relationship to reality as seen by folks in the street), end up quietly supplying troops to American causes or making trade deals that amount to payoffs.
And the real tip-off, in my mind, was the section of NAFTA that made it Canada's responsibility to supply a regular quota of oil to the US, no matter what.
And, you know what? In recent years (at least) Canada is the largest supplier of oil to America. Not Saudi Arabia or Mexico or Russia or Kuwait or Iraq or Iran. None of them export as much oil to the US as Canada does. And so, in my daydream (above), the reminder is as much to mitigate the risks to Americans that we Canadians might start getting stroppy and turn off the tap as it is to use a bargaining chip during other economic discussions.
OK, so before people start worrying that I am starting in on an anti-American rant here, please stop. I don't have an anti-American bias. I have way too many American friends, and have worked with Americans both professionally and personally. And I have frequently visited America and find Americans to be the most gracious hosts I've ever encountered. So, if I take the occasional exception to its foreign policies, it's only as they reflect Canadian-American relations.
Basically, I'm like everyone else: I don't like Americans coming to Canada and telling me how to conduct my affairs. Two wildly different people in that category are Condoleeza Rice and Cindy Sheehan, both women have done precisely that. Imagine that: About as politically opposite as two people can get, and both busy dispensing advice to other countries (including my own, Canada).
But I'm digressing a bit. About the troop invasion threat: Canada is an awfully big land mass. What would the American army do? Put one soldier every 100 kms, and hope they don't get eaten by our bears (or mosquitos)?
And, frankly, Canada does derive benefits from NAFTA, and I doubt that getting out of the "All Oil All the Time" deal is worth the money it generates, not to mention the advantages that the agreement brings to a bazillion-and-one other businesses (all manner of manufacturing, mining, forestry—softwood lumber disputes notwithstanding—and other, more niche-like markets such as, oh, say, online cialis and phetermine pills).
So, the curse of oil is not just for those countries without enough: Canada is just as cursed for having such an abundance. And if we are smart, we'll focus just as much as the rest of the world on finding alternatives. Not because we depend on foreign sources ... because we are a foreign source.
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