June 23rd, 2006

A man who uses a great many words to express his meaning is like a bad marksman who, instead of aiming a single stone at an object, takes up a handful and throws at it in hopes he may hit.
-Samuel Johnson, lexicographer (1709-1784)

C+, Sam. Try harder.

* * *

Actually, there once was a computer game I played as a teenager that used to say that too. I'd be frantically trying to avoid a collision with the bad guys, while shooting at my target. Then something awful and frustrating would happen, resulting in the violent explosion of my little pixelated space ship, and on the screen would appear these words: "Try harder". I usually muttered an anatomically impossible exhortation back to it. But there are other sloppily-uttered words (all dismissive in nature) that really flood my cylinders, too.

There are two especially that I hear a lot. (I would like to point out that despite all my intolerance and grumpy rants, I have never uttered these words to others):

Personally, both of these might as well just be simplified to the more direct, "shut the fuck up" for all that they say to the recipient. I mean, people don't say STFU and instead say one of these dismissive insulting exhortations simply because they don't want fists or heavy objects moving at high speed in the direction of their faces ... but there is very little difference between the three, except that STFU is more immediately obvious. So STFU is the one that gets people into scenes where they have bloody noses or key-marks in their cars' paint jobs. The point is, if people are uttering "Get over it" and not uttering "shut the fuck up" it means they are weasels, plain and simple. They are trying to tell you to fuck off without using the exact words ... just so they can get away with it. It's dishonesty.

I mean, of course, telling someone to "shut the fuck up" is bloody rude and insulting too, but at least it has the distinct benefit of being honest and direct. (I value honesty and directness, don't you know.)

Or the horrible (usually female) equivalent, "whatevvveeerrr ..." Actually, come to think of it, that's not as bad as the original since it still constitutes something of an acceptance. "It takes all kinds" it seems to say, though, clearly, the person saying it is "the right kind" and the target of that particular piece of piss is the "strange wacko kind" ... still, it is not quite as dismissive as "deal with it". There are others in this category as well that fall into the following syntactical pattern:

"Whatever ________s your ________."

eg:

flips, wig
bangs, bongos
turns, crank

... ad nauseum ... the list is infinite. Anyone want to contribute? Why not email me with your own suggestions?

Right, anyhow, there are many other weaselly little habitual things we say to each other that are equally dismissive, this time with the intent of ignoring the other's concern or unhappiness. These ones are the ultimate interpersonally cowardly avoidance of emotions we are too afraid of accepting as real. Someone is upset about something and we don't want our happy little emotional bubble burst by their reality, so we say something like:

See, this goes back to the Safe World Theory whereby people cling to the notion (beyond logic and beyond at least my belief) that all is okay in the world and when it isn't it is because we were stupid or careless. That is: Bad things only happen to stupid careless people, and we smart careful people will live long happy lives. (So STFU!) Right, and being confronted in our peaceful little village by someone decrying the approach of the lava from the volcano are told to "chill out" or "take a chill pill" or whatever. It is the ultimate way of not wanting to show strength in the face of extreme emotions, and instead trying to pinch it off at the source.

It's the sign of a weak abusive personality that it can't sit and listen to the unhappiness of friends and partners without trying to shut them up and force them to calm down. The true sign of strength, love, and respect for others is an ability to sit still and listen to their sorrow without losing your own feelings and without growing impatient and unhappy.

Then there's the Trailer Park Boys' common exhortation, "I don't care about that!" shouted as though it should be sufficient to put an end to whatever the other person is upset/swearing/shooting his gun about.

Whatever trims your turkey ...

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