July 17th, 2006
So last week I wrote that I was half-cut on a bottle of wine and that my wife was out of town. A friend, who knew I was also taking a few days off of work, thought I was gone on some alcohol-drenched Bacchanalian fest.
The truth is, I have been riding my motorcycle all around the Lower Mainland, watching DVDs of every episode of the TV show Lost, and obsessively playing a computer game appropriately entitled Oblivion. Those were my addictions all last week; I was too busy with those to obliterate my brain cells with such trivial pursuits as a really good drunk. And, besides, alcohol messes you up for days after the thrill is gone. I mean, I don't know about you, but I hate being a messy drunk almost as much as having to contend with one.
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Right, so I also got a chance to go see a movie with my sister. And I noticed something at the end of the movie that I am sure most people are already quite familiar with: Those folks who sit at the end of movies and read the credits. In fact, they are an entire sub-class of the movie crowd: The Credit-Readers.
Now, I am no stranger to reading credits in movies. All through the 1980s and much of the 1990s I used to sit at the end of movies with friends or family and read all about the Best Boy, Gaffer, 2nd Assistant Unit Director, or the Catering Truck Driver.
Sometime in the late 90s or the early aughts, though, I stopped reading them, and instead went home, and if I was still interested, fired up my computer and read more about the movie on the Internet than I could ever have gleaned from the credits on the big screen in the theatre.
I couldn't help but notice last night that, despite my change habits, there is still a proportionately large contingent of Credit-Readers—even in this day and age of IMDB and fan sites for stars, movies, even Hollywood itself! That's fine with me, of course. Depite my profession and hobbies, I can be anachronistically inclined. E.g., I read these large unruly paper-and-cardboard things called books myself, despite the ease and comfort of the computer. So fine.
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OK, I am now making a left turn here. Consider this quote about being in a crashed airplane from http://www.flowersandcruises.com/fear_of_flying.htm:
In [airplane] crash after crash in which the passengers survive impact, they just sit there, stunned, waiting to be told what to do. Often, the flight attendants, themselves stunned, fail to give directions right away. When the flight attendants finally do start talking, many of the passengers will still sit there as though in a trance.
So, what do you think you would do in the unlikely event of being in a crashed airplane? Would you sit stunned and dazed, or would you have your seatbelt off in a jiffy and be headed for the nearest exit? Well, you're probably like me and hope upon hope that you would have the presence of mind to get the heck out before burning to death. But unless you've been in that situation, it seems you have little evidence to go on about how you would behave. I think I would be up and out in an instant ... but I'm just not sure. Anyone who is certain that they would just know how to act in such dire circumstances are demonstrating a fairly egregious overconfidence bourne of a lack of imagination.
But if you want a clue, here is a short quiz you can take:
- True or False: I like to sit in movie theatres at the end of movies and read the credits.
If you answered True ... well ... perhaps you should sit near the door in airplanes.
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