July 19th, 2006
My English 12 teacher's name was [censored on account of my not wanting her to get in trouble—because I liked her]. She was relatively young (in 1985), attractive, and she used to flash her legs for some of the guys in my class (alas, not me). Her classroom walls were adorned with pithy, pissy, sissy, or sometimes simply silly sayings such as:
- "I find television very educational. Every time someone turns it on, I go read a book." -Groucho Marx
- "This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force." -Dorothy Parker
- "I had no shoes and complained, until I met a man who had no feet." -Indian (?) proverb (and obviously made up before Iraqi IEDs made men without feet downright commonplace—at least in the US.)
One other saying that I remember is this glib and facile piece of extruded grotch:
- "Too often we use people and love things when we should use things and love people." -Anonymous? (I can't find the origins of this. Probably the author was too embarrassed to sign his name to it.)
Well, whoever penned that one clearly hasn't met the same kinds of people that I've met. Some people are so tedious and pointless that if you didn't use them, they'd gather dust and grow ivy. Or, if they spontaneous sprang into action, they'd probably visit inadvertent injury upon themselves or others.
Speaking personally, I wouldn't say that I use people all that much; certainly, I'm not interested in turning people into my slaves or doting milieu. But I don't have a lot of time for most people, and I will definitely not ever be accused of waltzing through life as one of the world's greatest lovers or humanitarians. That's fine ... in fact, I think that's precisely as it should be.
And, to make matters worse, I am a lover of things. Or, more accurately, I grow fond of the things I've got. I've already talked about this, so I'm just going to move on to the point: Despite my traitorous unfaithful treatment of my old car, I am growing very fond of my new car. Here it is:
Right, as you can see, it's a 2006 Mazda 3 Sedan. It is quite the colour, too, isn't it? Despite its being an otherwise sedate and conservative little family sedan, it's got a colour you don't soon forget. You either call it Mid-Life Crisis Red, or maybe Speeding-Ticket Red (except, the other day I blew through a red light right in front of a Burnaby RCMP cruiser, and the Queen's Cowboys didn't stop me or even look in my direction twice ... so maybe the colour's not quite as bad-assed as it used to be).
Apart from the colour, I love the zippiness, the newness, the CD-player, and the air-conditioning. Even though the engine is a little larger than my last car's, the fuel consumption is slightly better. Certainly, it burns a lot less fuel than any of those behemoth SUVs. And because it's new and has warranties up the yin-yang for years to come (and just because it's new and an ultra-reliable car in the first place), all those concerns I've been having about driving aging and increasingly-rickety cars are neatly side-stepped. I mean, I have grown accustomed to being taken by my car wherever I need to go without trouble and worry. Having a new car, and in particular a new car that is reliable and great quality like this one, means that I can continue my sheltered comfortable car-driving lifestyle. Just jump in and drive.
In addition to the extra zippiness that I mentioned above, this car also is very maneuverable and easy-handling. It turns corners the way I tell it to, and it accelerates well, brakes on a dime, corners with very little body roll or complaining, and does it all for me tirelessly while I listen to my favourite songs in the air-conditioned comfort of its new upholstery.
So, you can tell by my language that what I originally said is quite true: I am growing fond of this car in leaps and bounds.
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