November 24th, 2006

So I was talking to a friend the other day. I don't see him much, but even so I could tell from his manner that he was somewhat indignant. So I asked him what was up.

"Well, not much. I got my Christmas bonus: $500 for being at my company for 10 years. If you do a quick calculation that's, well, sort of embarassing. Not to look the gift horse in the mouth."

We sipped our coffee in silence for a moment. I weighed and rejected telling him that I would've been insulted by that pittance. It's true: I would, but I would've taken it anyhow.

"And I have to claim it as an expense too, which means I have to get the money first, then spend it to get it back."

I thought about this for a moment. Then said, "Geez, bring them a bill first, huh? What if you want to buy a hooker, a bottle, and a gram of something organic? Can you bring them a receipt for that?"

He laughed briefly but bitterly. "It doesn't matter. I bought clothes and groceries instead, and I don't think they were impressed."

"'They'?"

"You know, THEM."

"Ah, I dig. The man."

"Yeah. And they told me to bring a friend to the Christmas Party so I asked if I could borrow the company credit card. It took a bit for it to click."

"Well, sure. You must realise that your brand of humour is the smart sexy brilliant capable girl, currently (and unfortunately) having to fetch coffee for its dull brain-dead ugly middle-aged ineffectual mid-level humourless polyesther-clad bad-toothed manager."

My friend laughed again, but he was still bitter. "You know, that's like 2-1/2 cents an hour, based on a 40-hour work week!"

We sipped coffee and hummed and hawed at it some more, then moved on to other topics of conversation.

* * *

Now, far be it for me to rant on someone else's behalf. This guy can bellow with the best of them. But it really bothers me to hear that 10 years of loyalty (and he has shown loyalty to stay there) translates to one bonus after such a long time, and a paltry little amount at that. Hmmph ... it might've been better to just not offer it to him at all. Now he thinks that they value him at $50.00 a year! Wow ...

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