April 4th, 2008
Alex's car had reached the end of "the strip" and Alex yelled, "Hope you're not tired, 'cause we're doing it again!" He swerved across two lanes of traffic, and veered left into an alley. He slammed on the brakes and backed out screeching his tires. He swung around facing back to the way they had come. He had just put his car into gear and was about to floor the gas pedal, when there was a voice coming inside from the window beside John.
"In a hurry?"
They all looked over to see two very young teenaged girls, barely high school age, standing next to Alex's car.
The girl who spoke was all in black: Black oversized shirt, black ankle-length skirt. A Goth. The girl behind her was dressed more casual, with a dark blouse and jeans, but was made up with dark eye-liner and black lipstick.
The other girl spoke: "You just about ran us over!"
Alex seemed to be at a momentary loss for words: "Oh ... "
"Sorry, ladies," Dave said.
"LADIES?" the first girl roared. "LADIES?!" she repeated. She said it so loud that it momentarily drowned out the stereo.
"Girls, chicks, kids, whatever ... we're sorry."
The girls looked at each other and then at Dave. It was almost pity in their eyes.
Robbie studied the girls back: Thin, short, and waifish. Tiny breasts and no curves. They were barely more than children. "This is bullshit!" he finally said, "We're not fucking sorry. Get out of our way or ..."
"Or what?"
"Or get in and we'll give you a lift."
There was a moment, then the other girl said to John, "Cool! Open the door."
Surprised, John opened the door and the first girl climbed in over John's lap, landing on Robbie's lap. The other girl climbed in and turned to face John, half sitting on John's knee, and half on the seat. Alex peeled out, letting the acceleration close John's door with a slam.
"I'm John," John said to the second girl.
"That figures. I'm ... Killer." She pulled out a felt pen and started writing on the car's ceiling.
"Hey! Stop that! This is my car!" Alex yelled.
She continued writing and said, "Proud of that, huh?"
Robbie asked the girl sitting in his lap, "So who are you? Psycho? Meat Shredder?"
She laughed, "I like that. From now on I'm Meat Shredder." She reached down and grabbed his groin. He yelped, which made her laugh again. "And don't forget it, Mister Meat." She squeezed his testicles. He reached to grab her hand away, but she let go first.
"So what are you writing?" John asked 'Killer'.
"Your last will and testament. Sign here."
Alex looked back and said, "Meat? Can I call you that? What are you two doing on the street at night?"
"You may call me Mistress Shredder and none of your business." She grabbed his hair and yanked his head back twice.
"Fuck off!" he yelled. She let go.
"You do a lot of talking with your hands," Robbie said.
"Nice hickey," Killer said to John.
"Let me see! Let me see!" Shredder cried out with excitement. She turned and leaned over Killer to get close to John. She stood up on the seat so that her thin boyish bottom was practically in Robbie's face.
Suddenly John said, "Oh!" and Killer started giggling. Robbie's couldn't see, but she was doing something to John. A moment later, she jumped back and was facing Robbie again.
Robbie looked over. John had a new hickey on his neck. He looked somewhat stunned. Robbie said, "Lipstick, bub."
"Huh? Oh ..." John wiped the black lipstick from his neck.
"Wow, you two are all class," Dave said.
"Up yours!" Killer replied.
She waved the felt marker at Dave's face, but Dave held her wrist. She struggled against his grip for a moment, but Dave's left hand was too strong for both of hers. "Okay! Okay!" Killer said, "But let me sign your cast."
Dave held it up. "How about your phone number?"
"Okay!" She wrote something down: "228-CLIT"
"Oh, come on!" Dave said after he looked at it, "I have to walk around with this!"
"It's my number, what can I say?"
Alex looked over at it and laughed.
The car cruised along the streets of downtown past the bistros and bars for a second time. There was less traffic this time, so Alex was able to get through the core faster. On the other side they entered an area densely packed with apartments and townhouses, mostly separated by hedges.
"We need to find some off-sales!"
"I'm broke."
"I got money," Dave said.
"Oooh," said Shredder, "How much?"
"Never mind!"
Just then, Killer screamed. She ran out of breath and charged her lungs and screamed again.
"What?"
"Jesus Christ, girl, what's your problem?"
"Shut up! What's wrong?"
She shrieked, "Oh my god! Oh my god! Stop the car! Stop! Stop!"
Alex slammed on the brakes in the middle of the road outside a set of condos. They all pitched forward with the force of Alex's braking, and once they were stopped they had to settle themselves back into their seats.
Killer's face was pale and frightened.
Dave turned off the radio and suddenly there was silence.
"Okay, we're stopped. What's the problem?"
"I saw a body! A dead man!"
"What?"
"Where?"
"Back about a block! He was just lying there!"
"I don't believe it!"
"What, you think I'm lying?"
"No ... I ... I don't know ..."
"Well, I'll back up the car." Alex put the car in reverse and backed the car slowly up the road until they came to a bus stop.
Suddenly, Killer said, "There! Oh my god!" She started crying. There was a silhouette under the hedges next to a bus stop. An arm was extended out from under the hedge and onto the grass.
Read more rants
- 
-
Comment on this rant -
Email me