April 24th, 2008

I am truly fortunate. Really.

When, in January, I took this new job with new (and larger) responsibilities and a more senior position, I felt pangs of uncertainty. I wasn't sure it was the right thing I was doing. My fears were dispelled within hours of working at my new job, but it's taken until now to pin down what those dark feelings really were:

Frankly, I miss the people I used to work with. They were, almost entirely, really good high quality people. This includes the people I sat with, the people I only occasionally fraternized with (socially) and the people that I worked with periodically (developers, other writers, product managers, etc.)

I work with good people at my new job, too, and I wouldn't go back even if I had the chance because I am the captain of my own ship (even if it is a smaller vessel), but I miss those folks from my last job a lot.

There's a feeling you get when you work and fraternize with high quality people: It somehow makes you feel more solid and higher quality yourself. That's what those folks did for me.

So when I was faced with leaving that environment for the Great Unknowns of this one, I realised at some level (without knowing it consciously) that I was giving up more than just the work I was doing. I may have been given the ball and permission to run with it, but (to stretch this metaphor to breaking point) I had to carry myself and the ball away from a group of really good people. It painted melancholy into the picture of my mood, but I didn't understand the feelings back then.

But I get it now.

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