April 3rd, 2009

So many of my "college convictions" are melting these days. I'm not complaining ... in fact, I kind of like it. But I cannot help but notice what Pete Townshend lyricized as: "And the parting on the left / Is now parting on the right".

And one such idea is the notion of intruders and protection. There would have been a time in university and shortly after when I would have waxed open-mindedly about people coming into others' homes and stealing their stuff:

They may break in, sure. Locks only keep out the innocent, after all. If they need that guitar or that stereo or that leather jacket or all the CDs in my collection ... well, so be it. They grew up tough, I'm sure. Let's have a little sympathy for them and not judge them so harshly!

But much has happened since then: My apartment was comprehensively burgled in 1995. I lost an awful lot of music equipment and other electronics, my aforementioned CDs and jacket, etc. I was virtually cleaned out. I've had lots of more petty theft occur: broken windows and missing items from my car, missing tires and tools from the carport, items from my desk at work, etc. Plus, I've met homeless people and those unrepentant and (more importantly) un-rehabilitatable people both through random and friendship-based encounters. There's no helping them; they lack certain important circuits in their brains and will never be un-criminal.

So my open-mindedness has taken a real beating over the years. Experience will do that to you. It's not just losing the stuff ... it's also the casual violation they perpetrated on me as they stole it. And, furthermore, I've come to realise that a lot of my so-called fair-thinking good-guy-ism was really just a way to make myself feel good about myself. Hard to stay feeling good about my open-mindedness if it just turns me into an easy doormat.

So I've modifed my sentiments since then:

They may break in, sure. My locks may only pose a temporary barrier. But if they want my guitar or my stereo, or that leather jacket, or the CDs in my collection, they will find me there ready to defend them. They may get through me, sure. They may be able to use force to get my stuff, but I'll maintain my sense of dignity and pride by making it hard for them to do so. Oh, and I no longer care about their plight in life that got them to this point. I've got my own crosses to bear.

And, finally, I have a responsibility to my wife and child to protect them from the bad guys as much as I can. Nobody thinks I am Superman and can save them from everything, but that dignity and pride I mentioned above is also realised by acting as protector.

So it's a change in my attitude, sure. But it's a journey through life that everyone eventually takes.

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