July 8th, 2009
So I had this idea for an invention that even I think is Just Plain Wrong. Nevertheless I burden you with it here:
It ties together some commonly-known facts and issues:
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We already know that enzymes and insulin can create stored energy in the body from sugars in the bloodstream.
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Many people are fervently and passionately afraid that our overuse of fossil fuels is destroying our environment.
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We somehow need a way of propulsing ourselves around town (e.g., to go to work, go shopping, or attend funerals) and bicycles are slow, exposed to the elements, and not good for hauling larger or heavier items.
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North Americans are, by and large, overweight and getting ever more so as time goes by,
Oh my goodness, the solution is obvious, isn't it?
We merely need to insert shunts into our arms—the same kind that patients requiring kidney dialysis have—and literally plug ourselves into our vehicles. We'd tear open a chocolate bar or start chowing down on a doughnut, raising our blood sugar level. But before our own insulin response could kick in, the vehicle we had become a symbiotic part of would extract the glucose from our blood and use it to power the engine.
We could eat all we wanted, and drive anywhere we wanted and we would not gain weight! And the car would oxidize the glucose into carbon dioxide (that's the harmless one) and water (you can drink it on the trip if you get thirsty) while producing energy to turn the wheels. (Actually, it's way more complicated than that. At the cellular level, glucose is broken down into some energy and the two molecules ATP and NADH, which are also both stores of energy, then ATP is broken down in the mitochondria into some more energy and ADP. It goes on from there, but it's better if you just Google it and read it for yourself. But, I mean, who cares how it's done, what's important is that your car would turn your excess glucose into energy.)
Once your car has extracted the glucose from your blood, it would probably have to return it to you, otherwise it might be a real short (and fatal) trip.
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